Lesson 8: Learning to Say “No”
Name(s) of student(s):
Age and grade level:
Goal from IEP connected to lesson:
Objective from IEP connected to lesson:
Purpose of lesson: To recognize when to say “no”.
Materials needed: Word document
Introduction
âImagine you have a very busy week at school. In addition to four final exams, one group project, and two writing assignments, you have chores at home and two after-school band practices. You feel stressed. Your neighbor calls and asks if she can hire you to care for her three animals while she is on a last-minute vacation for the week. Youâd need to feed the animals and walk the dogs before school, after school, and before bedtime. You feel guilty for wanting to say ‘no.’ What should you do?â
Discussion: Saying Yes
âYou are always saying ‘yes’ to something. You may say ‘no’ to pet sitting for the neighbor, but doing so means that you are (hopefully!) saying ‘yes’ to schoolwork and studying, to more time to relax, and to completing chores.
“Ask yourself:
- What are the things I want to say ‘yes’ to?
- What are my goals and values?
- In order to say ‘yes’ to my personal goals, what do I need to say ‘no’ to?â
Exercise: Goals and Values
Each student should establish and record personal goals and values.
Discussion: How Can I Say “No”?
âSaying ‘no’ can be an emotionally-charged task because you likely want to avoid hurting feelings or acting selfish. Keep in mind that you are only responsible for saying ‘no’ respectfullyâyou are not responsible for, nor can you control, othersâ reactions.
“When saying ‘no’, you donât owe an explanation. A simple ‘I will have to decline’ will do, though it is often gracious to add âthank you for askingâ or an encouraging word, coupled with directing the individual to a helpful resource.
Example 1: If you are asked to steal money for a friend, you can say, âIâm sorry youâre in this predicament. I don’t feel comfortable stealing, but I saw the local grocery store is hiring.â
Example 2: If you are asked to edit a research paper for a friend and it’s not a good time to do so, you can say, âThanks for thinking of me to edit your paper, Iâm flattered. I have a lot going on this week with school, so I will unfortunately have to decline. You may want to contact the writing center on campus; Iâve heard they edit papers for free.ââ
Exercise: Practice Saying “No”
Ask the students to pair off and role-play questions to one another, giving each other opportunities to decline requests.
Discussion: Benefits to Saying “No”
“There are many benefits to a willingness to say âno,’ such as:
- You won’t grow resentful of the requests of others.
- Others can trust that when you say âyesâ to something it’s because you are willing and able to help and will therefore be reliable and follow through.
- You will have more time and energy to focus on your personal goals, commitments, and values, and to accomplish them well.
- Most people will respect you for establishing boundaries.
- You will be less stressed.
“Can you think of additional benefits to learning to say ânoâ?â
Review
âToday we learned the benefits and importance of saying ânoâ. We say ânoâ to be able to say âyesâ to what we want to accomplish and to the things we value.â
Progress notes, data collection, comments, and modifications:
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