Letâs talk social charisma (connecting to others with empathy, emotion, and diplomacy), but before doing so, I must declare once again: It’s okay to be a quiet person! Introverts, extroverts, or those toeing the line between the two (ambiverts) can have excellent social skills. Whether you draw your energy from time spent alone or with others, and whether you are naturally reserved or more talkative, you can cultivate the social skills weâll call âcharismaâ. And because some of the nuances of charisma are visual in nature, I think itâs important to clearly define and describe them.
What is Social/Personal Charisma?
According to Psychology Todayâs Charisma: What Is It? Do You Have It?, âPersonal charisma is a constellation of complex and sophisticated social and emotional skills. They allow charismatic individuals to affect and influence others at a deep emotional level, to communicate effectively with them, and to make strong interpersonal connections.â
The article examines the elements making up charisma:
- Emotional expressivenessâthe ability to convey authentic feelings
- Emotional sensitivityâthe ability to detect othersâ emotions and relate to them
- Emotional controlâthe ability to restrain emotions and display emotions purposefully
- Social expressivenessâthe ability to communicate effectively with words and body language
- Social sensitivityâthe ability to discern tactful verbal and nonverbal communication
- Social controlâthe ability to compose oneself with dignity and confidence
Exhibiting the abilities in balance is the goal. Displaying social expressiveness without restraint or sensitivity can leave others frustratedâfor example, a coworker who engages with interest and zeal, but wonât stop talking. On the other hand, having restraint without the ability to relate to others or share with them can come across as callous or impersonal.
Developing Social Charisma
According to Psychology Todayâs article, 4 Ways to Boost Your Charisma: There are six core elements, and you can develop everyone., the following can help to develop the six elements of social charisma:
- Practice interpreting and communicating emotions. Itâs impossible to accurately convey your emotions or interpret othersâ emotions if you arenât proficient in identifying feelings. Take time to recognize your emotions in different situations. It can be beneficial to ask for constructive criticism on your verbal and nonverbal communication and emotional expression. Learn where you excel and where you have room for improvement. Find out, too, how others express their emotions by listening to and interpreting tone of voice, and asking a sighted friend or family member to demonstrate how others express emotions nonverbally. You may want to watch movies and visit public spaces with a sighted friend who can describe the nuances of body language in different contexts and work environments.
- Practice social skills. Attend social functions and meet others in order to rehearse verbal and nonverbal communication. When talking with others, practice active listening and the elements of a conversation (including an appropriate greeting, back-and-forth dialogue, and the conclusion). Remember to show up, step up, and speak up to have productive conversations in the workplace and beyond, which includes addressing misconceptions and low expectations by being comfortable with yourself and being confident in your skills.
- Practice social control. âFour Ways to Boost Your Social Charismaâ states, âOur research has shown that a big part of what makes people charismatic is that they have social poise and presence, what we call âsavoir-faire.â Consider how you come across when you meet others or converse with themâasking for constructive criticism from others will be key. Youâll want to know appropriate topics and ones to avoid (read Steering Your Way Around Office Politics as a Blind or Visually Impaired Employee); how to make a good first impression; how to present yourself confidently; how to control your emotions; and how to make others feel important and interesting by remaining an engaged listener and asking follow-up questions.
The purpose of practicing the aforementioned skills and improving your social charisma is to genuinely connect with others. To do so, both parties will need to authentically care about each otherâs opinions, feelings, and experiences, though you are only responsible for how you listen and share. If, however, the individual you are conversing with is skilled in showing you the same concern, a meaningful relationship can ensue!
Additional Resources:
- Regarding developing empathy: The Key to Improving Relationships on the Job When You Have a Visual Impairment or Blindness
- Regarding enhancing your verbal communication skills: Nine Tips for Better Storytelling
- Regarding improving oneâs first-impression: How to Make a First-Rate First Impression As a Candidate Who Is Blind or Visually Impaired